Pheme's Assistant

It can’t just be that all the good ones are taken

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#blind item

#rainbow brite

Interview with Clovis Schläfer

• Pheme's Assistant: Hi Clovis! You're the first interview for my new blog! How are you today?
• Clovis Schläfer: Umm... Fine, I guess? Kinda sleepy. Sorry if I doze off on you by the way. That's kind of a problem for me...
• PA: (grinning) Well, I'm sure I can think of some way to keep you awake!
• CS: (yawning) ...Okay.
• PA: So! Let's talk! Everybody knows you're dating Mitchell, right?
• CS: (blushing) Y-yeah, I guess so...
• PA: (smiles) And how long has ~that been going on?
• CS: A-a couple months now.
• PA: I want a date, Clovis.
• CS: ...March 24th.
• PA: Awww, you remember your anniversary! ♥ How cute!
• CS: (blushing again) Uh, thanks?
• PA: But seriously, though. My sources say that you were together a lot before then. Care to comment?
• CS: (turning even redder) N-no... I.. we.. we just hung out a lot.
• PA: Oh realllyyyyy? Because I know for a fact that the two of you were doing ~something~ together in Poseidon's cabin on the night of January 8th.
• CS: W-what? No! I-I... we /weren't/! I told everyone. I was /sleepwalking/. I can't control what I do when I'm like that...
• PA: Orly? (interviewer gives Clovis a shrewd look)
• CS: (he turns even more incredibly red, which the interviewer didn't think was possible)
• PA: Well if you won't admit to it... what finally made you get together, hmm?
• CS: I –– well, I don't know. It was after an... "incident" with Priapus. I needed his help and then a few days later he just... asked me. And something Piper said to me... I decided to say yes.
• PA: But my sources also say you kept it a secret for a while.
• CS: M-maybe a little.
• PA: So what made you decide to come out?
• CS: Well, like I said, Piper said something to me. And my friends... I guess they figured it out. Or something. And they were really supportive. (blushing) Mitchell kind of persuaded me to, too.
• PA: So Lacy didn't help /aaaaannnyyyyy/?
• CS: Well she's my friend isn't she?
• CS: (he yawns)
• PA: WAKE UP CLOVIS!
• CS: (he jumps)
• CS: I'm awake, I'm awake! Sheesh... (muttering) Can't sleep for 5 seconds around here.
• PA: Not while I'm interviewing you, you can't! Anyway, next question. This one comes from one of my readers.
• CS: (he sighs)
• PA: This is REALLY IMPORTANT, okay?
• CS: ...Okay?
• PA: You don't leave your socks on during sex, do you? Because that is, like, /soooooo/ tacky.
• CS: ..... (he looks to be very embarrassed) W-w-what? Why would you – we don't – I wouldn't just – [Interviewer's Name], you're /12/!
• PA: Shhh, don't say my name! This is supposed to be anonymous! Also, I'm not twelve, I'm [Interviewer's Actual Age].
• CS: (facepalming) I...That's /none/ of your business. (he is as red as a cherry)
• PA: It's /totally/ my business! I'm a gossip columnist now! Sooooooooo? I still want an answer...
• CS: (blushing, blushing, blushing!) I will /not/ answer such a ridiculous question! We-we don't /do/ that sort of stuff.
• PA: My sources say otherwise.
• CS: And even if we did, I wouldn't tell you about it.
• PA: That's a complete lie, Clovis. You know Mitchell tells me ~everything.
• CS: (blushing furiously) Then maybe you should as /him/. (he is still very embarrassed)
• PA: But this is your interview!
• CS: We're – I'm not talking to you about /sex/ La– Reporter. Especially not sex with - with me and Mitchell!
• PA: Celebrities do it all the time!
• CS: (he is silent, and red)
• PA: ... Well, fine then. I'll let our readers use their imaginations~
• CS: (flustered) I – There's nothing to imagine! Why would they imagine /anything/ about me and Mitchell... doing /that/.
• PA: I dunno. The people are just curious! So. Since you /refuse/ to answer that question... what are your feelings on socks in general?
• CS: (composing himself) I don't know... they're socks. You wear them with you shoes. What other opinions are there? Unless you don't wear socks with your shoes, which would be sort of gross. (muttering) Oh gods, Mitchell is rubbing off on me...
• PA: What about socks with sandals?
• CS: (smiling a little) Mitchell says it's tacky. I don't particularly care either way, but he would kill me if I ever did it.
• PA: It's /soooo/ tacky. Anyway, let's see... (interviewer flips through list of questions) Gods, Pheme didn't really give me any good examples of follow-up questions after we talk about socks... hmmm... okay, got it! Your dad is Hypnos, right?
• CS: (yawning) Yup.
• PA: What's it like in Hypnos cabin? Most of our readers have never been in there.
• PA: (as an afterthought) Although that could just be because it's pretty boring. I dunno.
• CS: Hmm... well it's probably the most comfy cabin in the whole camp. It's filled with different types of chairs and beds. The sound is different for each person and will change into whatever soothes you the most. My father's symbol hangs around the room. Just think of the warmest, softest, most cozy place...
• CS: (he drifts off to sleep)
• PA: (interviewer snaps fingers in front of his face) Clovis! Get up!
• Clovis: (snoring)
• PA: I will go get Mitchell and he will wake you up for me.
• CS: (mumbling and smiling in his sleep) Mmm... Mitchell...
• PA: ... IN A VERY CREATIVE WAY.
• (there is no response)
• PA: (the interviewer shakes his shoulder) CLOVIS.
• CS: (he is started awake) I don't have school today Mother! Wha... Oh. Oh, right. The interview. (clears his throat)
• PA: We're not done yet, you can't just drift off!
• CS: Sorry! I told you that happens sometimes!
• PA: Stiiiiill! Okay. Next question!
• CS: (he scratches his head and shrugs)
• PA: There's been some rumors going around about how you were messing around with a certain Oracle.
• PA: ...'s brain. ;)
• CS: Well, yeah. She asked me to, so I did.
• PA: And there were some other rumors about how you recently had a visit by a certain patron of said Oracle.
• CS: Ummm, what? No, I've never met Lord Apollo. (a little uncertain) Rachel assures me he's not angry with me...
• PA: Oh really? My sources say otherwise.
• CS: ...Who are your sources? Are... are you saying Lord Apollo is mad at me? (he gulps)
• PA: Well, that's what I've heard, anyway. And I have ears everywhere. But I mean, one has to wonder. What were you doing inside her mind anyway?
• CS: ...I am not at a liberty to say.
• PA: That's not a real answer.
• CS: It's a perfectly valid answer.
• PA: No it isn't.
• CS: I... I'm not going to discuss this. I can't tell you why I was in Rachel's head. Th - the end.
• PA: I'll make it worth your while~~~~ (the interviewer winks)
• CS: ...You're thirteen L– reporter. And (blushing lightly) I thought I made it fairly obvious that I don't swing that way...
• PA: I meant I could make it worth your while by convincing certain /other/ people to make it worth your while~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• PA: How many little squiggly lines do I have to use, Clovis?
• CS: (his blush grows) We don't need you help with that...... You know I think I've got somewhere to be now. I – I promised Chiron I'd... I promised him I would go... clean the stables. So I've gotta run...
• PA: What! I haven't gotten enough information about Ra -- I mean, learned enough about you yet, Clovis! You can't go!
• CS: (walking away) I'm sorry, I /really/ (yawning) have to go now...
• PA: .....
• PA: ... And that concludes our first interview on Pheme's Assistant! I hope you enjoyed it, readers, and remember, we're your best source for all the best Camp gossip! Stay tuned! XOXO, Pheme's Assistant

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#interview

#clovis